Paul Stainton's 9 rules of Christmas

Ex BBC local radio presenter and now PR consultant Paul Stainton who landed a £218k PR contract with

Ex BBC local radio presenter Paul Stainton offers his 9 rules of Christmas - Credit: Archant

Thousands tuned in daily on BBC Radio Cambridgeshire to listen to him – and recently they’ve laughed along with his lockdown YouTube videos. 

But clearly, and with time on his hands after being laid low by Covid, Paul Stainton has lost none of his ability to create a storm.  

And his target is Christmas – in fact the NINE Rules of Christmas as defined by Paul Stainton.  

In no particular order these are Paul’s 9 rules he wants us to observe: 

1: Mince pies must be sold all year round  

2: Christmas decorations not to be put up and lights switched on before December 1. 

3: Christmas jumpers and paper hats to be outlawed. Completely. 

Most Read

4: The playing of Christmas carols to be limited to Christmas Eve and Boxing Day. With no exceptions.  

5: Yorkshire pudding to be banned from the Christmas dinner plate.  

6: Christmas present buying to begin and end on Christmas Eve 

7: Eggnog to be forcibly re-introduced into every household so that kids today can understand how bad the 70’s were.  

8. Santa hats made compulsory headwear from the 15th of December every year for all local councillors, in an effort to make them appear more human.  

9. People called Geoff should not be allowed to sing karaoke at the office Christmas bash. 

He added: “I’m not sure everyone will agree with all of them but all nine rules make sense, surely?” 

Become a Supporter

This newspaper has been a central part of community life for many years. Our industry faces testing times, which is why we're asking for your support. Every contribution will help us continue to produce local journalism that makes a measurable difference to our community.

Become a Supporter