Paul Stainton's 9 rules of Christmas
Ex BBC local radio presenter Paul Stainton offers his 9 rules of Christmas - Credit: Archant
Thousands tuned in daily on BBC Radio Cambridgeshire to listen to him – and recently they’ve laughed along with his lockdown YouTube videos.
But clearly, and with time on his hands after being laid low by Covid, Paul Stainton has lost none of his ability to create a storm.
And his target is Christmas – in fact the NINE Rules of Christmas as defined by Paul Stainton.
In no particular order these are Paul’s 9 rules he wants us to observe:
1: Mince pies must be sold all year round
2: Christmas decorations not to be put up and lights switched on before December 1.
3: Christmas jumpers and paper hats to be outlawed. Completely.
Most Read
- 1 Michaela’s horrific ordeal: ‘My partner threatened to slit my throat and bury me alive’
- 2 Developer claims 109-home estate would be 'wholly appropriate'
- 3 Motorcyclist, 32, injured after A605 crash
- 4 Village life, magistrate in court for failing to clear snow and forced landing
- 5 Police shut off A605 after 'single vehicle' crash
- 6 How do Cambridgeshire Fens' Covid cases compare to November 2020 lockdown?
- 7 Prison for 'lavish lifestyle' drug dealer who hid £18k cash in sock drawer
- 8 'White van man' crashes into rail bridge
- 9 Convenience store transformed thanks to £116k facelift
- 10 Eight things we learned from the prime minister's briefing
4: The playing of Christmas carols to be limited to Christmas Eve and Boxing Day. With no exceptions.
5: Yorkshire pudding to be banned from the Christmas dinner plate.
6: Christmas present buying to begin and end on Christmas Eve
7: Eggnog to be forcibly re-introduced into every household so that kids today can understand how bad the 70’s were.
8. Santa hats made compulsory headwear from the 15th of December every year for all local councillors, in an effort to make them appear more human.
9. People called Geoff should not be allowed to sing karaoke at the office Christmas bash.
He added: “I’m not sure everyone will agree with all of them but all nine rules make sense, surely?”
