Fen diary

STORIES told to a diarist can sometimes take on such a surreal quality, you can only hope for an early end to the day.

Take, for example, the tale told to me this week of the Fenland councillor whose enthusiasm for the Young People's March project is commendable.

But did he really suggest to a town councillor in March that councillors consider finding the money for a brick wall?

The brick wall, seemingly, would be erected outside the YPM centre for when the fenced off basketball court closes, and young people need someone to expend their energy on kicking a football.

Solution? You've guessed....build a brick wall.

You couldn't make it up, and unhappily neither did I.

HE has obviously been forgiven by his political masters, so I promise never again to refer to the 'clown' jibe that got Wisbech councillor Simon King into so much bother last year.

And now he has re-joined the Tory 'high command' as chairman of the Dstrict Council's overview and scrutiny committee I won't even remind you of the officer to whom he referred.

Time, as they say, to move on.

FAVOURITE quote of the week comes from Councillor Sebastian Kindersley, leader of South Cambridgeshire District Council, and an advocate of a county-wide concessionary bus scheme for the elderly and disabled.

Who could argue with his aspiration that "whatever needs to be done should be done so that we can provide that. We are very keen."

So far, so good but I suspect his final thought on the subject could well be considered work in progress. For he argues that for a scheme to succeed "it will mean some other districts in Cambridgeshire will have to decide to give us some money".

That's about the same time that pigs start flying, UFOs land in Wisbech, and Chatteris unveils its new leisure centre.

ALLOW me to invite you to become sleuths and work out the connection between the following two events.

On Tuesday morning a sign in the window of an estate agency in March advised that the premises would be closed until noon for "staff training" for which the company duly apologised.

On Tuesday morning, 12 miles away in Wisbech, the branch manager of a March estate agency was appearing before magistrates on a charge of being drunk.

I wonder if the two events were connected?

RE-ASSURANCE indeed for those civic dignitaries - and others - embarking on another round of bean feasting.

The enterprising folk at Dobson's Leisurewear in March are advertising gents' clothes "for the larger man" which includes trousers from 2XL to 5XL.

And just in case you need them, the store also advises they have jeans in stock to handle waists up to 56 inches.

TO the woman bus driver seen on a mobile phone as she came over March Town Bridge this week, I can only say it will surely be just a matter of time before you're caught.

And to the cyclist who hit a bollard in March this week as he cycled along High Street chatting away on a mobile phone, I can only say I'm sorry your injuries were only slight.

NOT that I would ever reveal a source. But a helpful clue? Why not?

Senior Tories have been fretting about how the voting figures for the deputy leadership on Fenland Council so quickly entered the public domain.

Normally, of course, the group would only announce the result - and not the actual number of votes cast for each candidate.

On Tuesday, in the case of the contest between Councillors Fred Yeulett and Alan Melton, they broke with tradition by revealing that 23 had voted for the former, and only 10 for the latter.

So, in another break with tradition, let be do no more than point them in the direction of the councillor who, quite innocently, let the cat out of the bag at another meeting later the same night.

SIMON King, the promotions and marketing manager at Jack's nightclub in Wisbech, writes to ask if I would kindly publicise his foam parties and to inquire if I need any further information.

Er, no.