Members acting like animals
It s fairly noisy in our house at the moment – thanks to the recent excitement about a general election. No fewer than three members of our extended family have decided they want to be candidates. Life would be quieter if they d decided to stand for the s
It's fairly noisy in our house at the moment - thanks to the recent excitement about a general election. No fewer than three members of our extended family have decided they want to be candidates.
Life would be quieter if they'd decided to stand for the same party.
Take Madam Misty (that's a nickname to preserve her blushes - as if she could blush).
She believes she was born into the ruling class - something you can tell from a strange, clipped sound she makes when upset: "Myah." She considers herself totally above the sordid business of having to put herself up in front of a selection committee and then actually being nice to the general public. "Just too demeaning, my dear."
You may also want to watch:
But Misty would make a highly intelligent, efficient and effective MP, just so long as you didn't expect her to listen to anyone.
Next there's 'Red' Husty (another nickname). He knows his rights and expects the State to provide for his every whim.
- 1 Pub closes as owners decide not to sell
- 2 Work starts on £3.16m apprenticeship training school
- 3 Customers report summerhouse builder to fraud investigators
- 4 Yard sale raises over £1,400 from second annual event
- 5 Theatre group stalwart steps down after nine years
- 6 'Panicked' dangerous driver apologises after 90mph police pursuit
- 7 Health chief’s stark warning: ‘The virus doesn’t care we changed the rules’
- 8 Medieval pottery unearthed at Cambs campsite
- 9 Father murders daughter’s ex-partner in 'frenzied' multiple knife attack
- 10 Residents make most of lockdown easing as Christmas comes early
Once a barrack room lawyer, later a full time shop steward, he's grown into a lovable old softie. A bit of flattery and a fillet of fresh salmon will have him eating out of your hand.
One problem is we're not that certain what he gets up to at night so his private life might count against him if it ever became public.
Then there's old Oscar. That's his real name and he's happy for me to use it.
He's very fond of this paper which he recycles every week - first as bedding and then in his loo. He may yawn a lot in public and give the impression of being a bit 'slow'. In reality, he's seriously shrewd, if lazy. His friends say it's not laziness: he just prefers to save his energy.
The question is, if they were selected, whom would you vote for?
What makes a good MP - and have you made your views known? You should, even if there isn't an election until 2009.
Of course, Misty, Husty and Oscar have a serious obstacle to overcome. Although they've taken British nationality, they weren't born British. This will count against them around here. Even more so as their homeland is Iran.
Mid you, they prefer to call it Persia, not least because all three are long-haired Persians. Miaow.